Family is everything? – 03/05/2024 – Lorena Hakak

The other day, talking to a colleague, she shared with me an issue that was bothering her. She, in her early thirties, was in a dilemma between hoping for a better position in the job market and having children. This dilemma is not just hers. It is shared by thousands of other women. When is the best time to have your first child?

Knowing how maternity care falls on the expectant mother, it is difficult to make this decision. As pointed out in several scientific studies in Brazil and other countries, the salary difference between men and women appears significantly from the birth of the first child.

So what do you say to this colleague? That she should postpone pregnancy? The biggest problem is that the biological issue is perverse with women. Many have tried to get pregnant after the age of 40, however, this choice increases the chances of failure and risky pregnancies. Could she freeze her eggs? This possibility, however, is for few, as the cost is high. Another more radical option would be to give up your career, but it is not fair that a woman should choose between career and family.

What is observed is that many women seek more flexible jobs (which, on average, pay less) and which require less overtime or very long shifts. Thus, this type of decision ends up reflecting that, over time, women earn, on average, less than men and are promoted less.

To reduce this feeling of near impotence that affects women, we must seek solutions within the family and society. Considering traditional marriage, men need to internalize their role as parents, equally sharing the care of raising a child with their partner. Thus reducing the costs of care by sharing them with her. However, this is not always what happens.

It is common for a family arrangement to be organized in such a way that one of the spouses chooses a more flexible job while the other seeks a more “ambitious” one. This type of work requires long hours and has better pay, however, it becomes more difficult for the individual to leave the office if their child gets sick or, for example, fails to serve a client at dinner time. As caregiving often requires more flexible work, if both spouses share the tasks, both will be penalized in the job market, which will have an impact on family income. This can even happen in the same profession.

Such division can end up reinforcing gender roles.

At the other end is society, which needs to move forward and find solutions to reduce these gender differences and the division of care. On one side is the public authorities, such as Congress enacting more modern laws such as, for example, the extension of mandatory paternity leave, while governments (in different spheres) should expand good quality, full-time daycare centers to signal that they are attentive to necessary changes for greater equity. On the other side, the private sector, which today favors those who work longer hours, with long working hours and who have greater availability outside of work shifts or weekends. This is most evident in higher-paying occupations, such as finance or “ambitious” occupations. There is a need to seek changes in the forms of employment contracts to reduce these disparities.

Women have, on average, more years of schooling than men and have every right to pursue occupations considered “ambitious”. Changes in behavior and attitudes among parents, partners and society would bring relief to women’s decisions and greater equality between men and women in the job market.

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