Sex: why some people think it’s overrated – 05/09/2023 – Equilibrium

“Why is sex so overrated? Seriously, I’d rather eat and watch [algo] than having sex”, says a woman on the Reddit social network. On this Sex Day, celebrated on September 6, the internet user’s voice is not lonely: many have questioned the real satisfaction generated by sexual activity.

The girl says that she is not asexual, that she feels pleasure and desire, but she carries frustration due to her partner’s excessive interest. “I’ve been in a relationship for a few years and we’re planning on moving in together. […] I foresee a lot of stress ahead,” he wrote.

The pressure to have more sex has also bothered Bruna Marquezine. The actress, who had her name linked to the legend of “Surubão de Noronha” and made fun of the case on the networks, said last year to the podcast Quem Pode Pod that she shares the feeling.

“It was a time when I wasn’t even having the energy to have sex,” she says. “I remember that Manu Gavassi said that sentence and I grabbed it: ‘Sex is overrated. It’s not all that'”, said the actress.

In Facebook groups it is easy to find discussions on the subject: “I prefer to play a well-played volleyball. Have a good lunch. Sleep well”, writes an Internet user.

Male complaints are also expressive. “Very overrated, I’d rather see Naruto,” claims one. “An honest barbecue is much better than sex”, points out another.

Despite the humor, however, it is clear that overrated does not mean bad. Sexologist Priscila Junqueira, a psychologist for 20 years and co-founder of IPSER (Institute of Psychology and Sexology Rare Essence), says that everyone has their own perspectives, experiences and beliefs about the act.

“The level of importance given to sex can vary from person to person, and it’s worth respecting individual choices and understanding that the value of sex is subjective,” she says.

In society, according to the psychologist, sex is, yes, it is often overrated – and for several reasons.

“Sexuality is a natural and essential part of human life, which causes people to devote a lot of attention and importance to it. Furthermore, the media, popular culture and advertising often explore and emphasize sex as a way to attract audience, sell products and create an emotional appeal”, says Junqueira.

And, depending on the context, hypersexualization may occur, a phenomenon whereby sex becomes constantly highlighted, imposing needs to adapt to certain standards of beauty, behavior or sexual performance. “It leads to an intense appreciation of sex as a way of proving masculinity, femininity or social acceptance”, says the sexologist.

Junqueira also says that, from the point of view of psychoanalysis, libido is not just sexual desire, but a sensation that can affect different aspects of life. “I relate to food, I relate to friends, sexual partners, to games. It’s a matter of direction, I direct my libido to a certain facet of my life and not to another.”

Psychiatrist Eduardo Perin, a specialist in cognitive-behavioral therapy at the Anxiety Outpatient Clinic of the Hospital das Clínicas at USP (University of São Paulo), says that sex plays a significant role in the formation of social identities.

“For human beings, sex is related to power and submission; to virility and femininity; to aggressiveness and passivity. Among Orientals, the intersection between religion, spirituality and sexuality is frequent”, he says. The expert points out that satisfactory affective-sexual relationships are associated with better quality of life, mood and self-esteem, although there is still excessive pressure around the topic.

“Charging for the perfect body, for the sexual performance of a pornographic actor, an exploration of the subject of sexuality and pornography too much. Human beings can become dependent on any hedonic stimulus, and even on anti-hedonic stimuli”, he says.

To regulate the emotions involved, the tip is to maintain varied behaviors and, in addition to having sex, think pleasantly about other activities, such as sports, meditation, hobbies, leisure, socialization, eating and drinking, for example.

“When the individual has a poor repertoire of possibilities for emotion-regulating behavior, he tends to remain in this same behavior impulsively and compulsively. It is a model similar to that of addiction due to substance use”, says Perin.