Prohibiting the use of drugs can be an incentive for teenagers – 07/24/2023 – Equilíbrio

Treating drug use as a taboo, with moralistic and censorship speeches, tends to alienate teenagers from their parents, according to specialists. In the search for discoveries and coping, the children end up creating tactics, such as lies and family isolation, to find the answers and self-esteem they need in this period of life away from home. Thus, the best way to deal with the problem is through dialogue.

Pretending that the subject does not exist or simply prohibiting its use, claiming only that it is harmful, is not the best way, point out health professionals. The requirement is seen as censorship by the adolescents, who do not stop thinking about it or change their beliefs.

“He just stops telling you and that can be very dangerous”, says psychologist Carolina Correia, member of the Brazilian Association of Behavioral Science and researcher at the Institute of Psychiatry at USP (University of São Paulo).

“It is at this moment that parents lose access to their children’s internal world, that the lies begin and that they seek references and answers outside the family”, he warns.

Exaggerating in the control and in the sermons produces a hostile, stressed and dialogue-free family climate, says the professional. The prohibition will make the children try to protect their privacy, avoiding talking about themselves and omitting feelings and doubts.

“That’s why censoring is so dangerous. Teenagers don’t feel accepted for being who they are, nor are they comfortable expressing themselves,” says Correia.

The professional points out that both the scientific literature and clinical practice reveal that negative monitoring, in the form of stressful supervision, is the parenting practice most associated with drug use in adolescence.

This is due to the socio-emotional development of this phase of life, which goes through emotions, feelings and thoughts. “The socialization process begins in the family group and expands to other social groups, becoming more complex. That is why parenting practices are considered protective factors, when positive, or risk factors, when negative”, emphasizes Correia.

Dialogue was the method chosen by chef Simone Chaves to warn her daughter, now 13, about drug use. The matter began when the girl was 9 years old and realized that an older friend had smoked marijuana.

The mother claims that she never forbade her to use it, but believes that if that happens, her daughter will tell her. She also doesn’t forbid her to hang out with anyone, but advises her to choose her friendships carefully. “She ends up excluding friends who use it because of their behavior.”

A teenager with good self-esteem is more protected, as he is less likely to engage in risky behavior in search of social acceptance. Thus, the best way to deal with the matter is to talk before the child has access to drugs. The sooner the dialogue takes place, the more comfortable and natural it will be for both of you.

It was like this at the home of teacher Josiane Cesquim and civil engineer Murilo Cesquim. They took advantage of a questioning by son Fernando, 10, and got into the subject.

With the open dialogue, the boy began to realize that use can bring harm in the future, says the mother. “I also like to address the issue of alcohol. When we go out and his father drinks, he asks if I’m going to drive.”

When parents use or have used drugs, the speech must also be sincere, but without too many details, so as not to provoke interest in use, guides psychologist Carolina Correia. “You don’t need to tell how, where, with whom or why you used it. Don’t report the situation as if it were an event.”

If those responsible use it recreationally, she says, there is no need to tell, however, if there is addiction, the professional recommends talking about it, because at some point the teenager may notice.

“If you have a problem with drug use, you can express to your child how much you are struggling to overcome it. This can show him the damage, much more than a speech”, emphasizes Correia.

The use of drugs, including legal ones, such as cigarettes, alcohol and medication, can be an incentive for adolescents, but it can also be used as a mediator for the family to get closer, listen and take care of themselves, says psychologist Gabriela Gramkow, PhD in Social Psychology and professor at PUC-SP (Pontifical Catholic University of São Paulo).

She points out that the problem must be looked at very delicately and listened to, without moral judgment, which prevents approximation and care. Welcoming, listening and continuous presence are necessary so that there is no isolation or mistrust.

“Try to understand how your child is experiencing this, how this experience has been for him, what effects it is causing, how he gained access to the drug and what his plans are for using it”, he suggests.

The work can count on the help of people of reference for the adolescent, such as a relative, someone from the community, a religious figure or a health professional. “It is important to remember that in the case of distant families, this is the conflict to be faced, the distance between parents and children.”