How to raise anti-machine sons (and daughters): see 4 essential tips

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Faced with the stereotype that women bear most of the responsibility for taking care of the house and raising children, even when working outside the home, it is essential to educate both boys and girls to break this sexist cycle. Tips on how to raise anti-machine children. Image by Freepik How many times have you heard that “women are better at taking care of the house” or that “changing diapers is not a man thing”? In a society like Brazil’s, where many women suffer from the triple shift of working outside the home and being responsible for household chores and raising children, it is essential to educate both boys and girls from an early age to break this stereotype and break the stereotype. macho cycle. (This report is part of a series that the g1 on how the lack of balance in the division of tasks impacts on the education of children and also how to “draw” for parents what is the mental load of mothers.) 🤨 But, after all, what is sexism? It is the behavior, expressed by opinions and attitudes, which preaches that, due to their differences, men and women should play different roles. This is reflected at home and in other spheres, such as the job market, where, for example, only 29% of women are in leadership positions. Feminism, or anti-machismo, on the other hand, is not a movement against men. It is, in fact, the defense of equal rights between genders in all situations, including family. ⚠️ What are the consequences of machismo? They range from female overload in the domestic environment, with an impact on children’s education, to disrespect for women, such as the “redpill” movements, and even situations of insecurity and violence. In 2022, Brazil broke a record for feminicides, with a woman killed every 6 hours. 📝 And why is it important to educate against sexism from an early age? According to child psychologist Cíntia Gouvea, it will help make children more respectful and aware of their role as citizens. The home, she emphasizes, is “the north that will guide the child in building his identity”. “The idea is not to ‘military’ with the child, but to transform him into a functional adult, who knows how to be independent. So, girls become women who know how to impose themselves and boys become men who know how to manage on their own”, he says. For psychoanalyst and psychologist Renata Bento, who specializes in clinical psychology with children, there is no minimum age to work on the subject in life of the child. According to her, it should be something naturalized at home. Tips for an anti-macho education: 1. Set an example at home If the child grows up in a respectful, balanced and diverse environment, it is much easier for him to replicate these characteristics in life in the future. The psychoanalyst Renata Bento agrees. “It is important that the notion of equality is always present in the family for the child to grow up with [o antimachismo] like something natural”, he evaluates. Examples of sexist situations in everyday life: Assuming that women are better at home just because they are women: The truth is that women are taught to take care of the house from an early age, while men are excused from learning about the subject. This can lead the man to become an adult who does not know how to deal with household chores, but who can learn, even grown up. Thinking that there is something for men and something for women: Some conventions of macho society label cooking, washing clothes and taking care of children as women’s things, while playing ball, working outside and watching football are men’s universe. But these are outdated conventions that do not match reality. Everyone can and should do what they want. Acting as if a woman’s opinion is inferior to a man’s: It is common for women’s speeches and opinions to be discredited, while men’s are accepted as the truth. “Helping” with household chores or raising children: If a man and a woman live together in the same house, responsibility for the home must be shared by both. A man who does the dishes and picks up the clothes is not “helping” his partner, he is fulfilling his obligation as an inhabitant of that space. The division of tasks is also valid in raising children – even if the parents are not married. 2. Talk about it As important as showing by example is talking to the child about it. When talking about something, the child perceives the openness of the parents and feels more comfortable expressing himself and raising any doubts. This is also important to explain that that theme can be dealt with differently in other environments and gives parents the chance to reinforce that, in the family home, the dynamic is the same. For example, if the child’s grandparents have a different relationship, in which the grandmother is always submissive to the grandfather, this can serve as an example for the child to understand that not everyone acts like their parents. The conversation will also help the child to recognize and respect differences. 3. Stimulate the child to think Parents can work anti-macho education with their children. Image by Freepik Machismo affects behavior, but it also represses feelings, especially in men, and this aspect should also be worked on in children. Let’s assume that the boy comes home sad and hears from someone that men don’t cry. Parents can explain that it is an old concept and things have changed, so that the child knows that he can cry if he feels like it and that this does not make him more or less of a man. The stimulus can also come directly from the parents, who must allow the child to demonstrate weaknesses and doubts. The father, in turn, can show sensitivity and show the child that he has feelings and that this is normal. 4. Normalize equality in everyday concepts Play can be allied with teaching and helping the child to understand that equality is independent of the situation. By learning that they can play with dolls and house, the boys will grow up finding it natural to share tasks to take care of their own children and the house. Just as girls can play with balls and cars if they want to know that their choices should not be limited in adult life. Reading can also be helpful in this endeavor, especially with children’s literary works that promote gender equality. 🎯 Lifetime benefits For experts, these common practices will give children freedom, flexibility and sensitivity to show their characteristics, transforming them into more “complete” adults. “Adult men tend to have great difficulties accessing and talking about their feelings, but they feel, internalize and suffer for it. It’s almost as if it’s shameful. So, these men could be much happier if they managed to work on these aspects for themselves , and preparing the child and normalizing this will make her suffer less in adult life”, evaluates Renata Bento. Likewise, women can also be happier if they have more freedom of choice and fewer obligations. “In the end, it’s about preparing tomorrow’s adults to be independent and self-sufficient,” she notes. Watch Education Videos

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