‘Blind Marriage’, ‘Tunnel of Love’: Why do we love relationship realities so much?

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In search of marriage or enjoyment, programs became a hit. g1 spoke with experts to understand why we get involved in relationships with strangers. Why do we get so involved with relationship reality shows? Relationship reality shows are not a new phenomenon. The journey begins there in auditorium shows, such as the American “The Dating Game”, from 1965. It goes through “In the name of love”, by Silvio Santos, and related ones, until they join the explosion of reality shows at the end of the decade from 1990. The format can even change, whether for those who want a wedding or to enjoy a vacation. What does not change, however, is the public interested in following these couples unfold in the affective field. “The success of relationship realities comes from many decades, with several examples on open and pay TV in Brazil and the world. These formats have evolved, with TV itself and the way of consuming content, they reached streaming and generate enormous engagement” , contextualizes Teresa Penna, director of Globoplay and Digital Audiovisual Products, in an interview with g1. Scenes from the reality shows ‘Casamento à blind’, ‘Tunnel do amor’, ‘On vacation with the ex’ and ‘Soltos em Floripa’ Reproduction/Youtube/Reproduction/Globoplay/Reproduction/Youtube example: Bachelors being fought over by dozens of women on “The Bachelor”; A younger crowd who racked their brains to find their match in “Are you the one?”; Singles interested in the jinx willing to cross paths with their ex in “On Vacation with the Ex” Detached friends guessing which would be the ideal “match” in “Tunnel of Love”; Suitors talking without seeing each other in search of a “Blind Marriage”. In addition to these, there is still something new in the area. After “Tunnel of Love”, Globoplay bets on yet another reality show, this time more romantic. In “Let Love”, which is scheduled for release in the second half of this year, a group of singles will leave dating apps aside to try to find true love. “They offer a light entertainment option, which mixes humor, suspense, drama and romance. There is an aspect of voyeurism and competition, which instigates people’s curiosity and generates conversation between groups of friends, since the participants’ decisions represent trends social, reflect the way people deal with relationships in different contexts”, says Teresa. g1 talked to experts in psychology and sociology to understand why we get so involved in relationship reality shows and accompany couples we’ve never even met. A tal da espiadinha The search for love Fantasy Identification A tal da espiadinha Brazilians do have a penchant for reality shows, but it is not exclusive to us. According to psychoanalyst Pedro de Santi, professor of Consumer Sciences at ESPM, human beings are curious to know about the private life of others, especially public figures. “The separation of public and private is a theme that dates back to the 17th and 18th centuries. In the 18th century, the literature of intimate diaries and exchange of letters became fashionable, because they gave the reader the feeling of invading, finally having access to the world private.”. Psychoanalyst Maria Virgínia Cremasco, head professor of the psychology department at the Federal University of Paraná, goes deeper: human beings want to know and are even more willing to know about topics considered taboo, such as sexuality. “There are some specific themes that awaken a kind of general desire to know. And the theme of relationships that involve affectivity, emotions, passions, sexuality, is a common human desire to know since when humans are human.” The search for love Brides of the second season of ‘Blind Marriage’, from Netflix Reproduction/Instagram/Netflix Although the programs are different – they can be focused on the beginning of a relationship, during a marriage, or just flirting without commitment – , relationships and how they happen are the focus of reality shows. “The fact that it represents the love bond, the sexual relationship, the realization of life or the promise of fulfillment, is something that captures every human being”, says professor Maria Virgínia, from UFPR. “The relationship [amoroso] is, of course, almost everyone’s dream. It’s one of life’s great questions”, says Santi, from ESPM. “Love life, loving being loved, getting a good partnership, is a fantasy that everyone struggles with one way or another.” The psychoanalyst also explains that the dynamics of the shows still help the audience to project their desire for a relationship, whether it’s an existing one, which is going well or not, or a long marriage, a beginning of a relationship. “I can project that, and I would also add the sadism of seeing the messes that this generates the disappointment of seeing the other’s suffering from afar to laugh.” Fantasy From the plots presented by the reality shows, the public ends up “living” the romance (or the end of it) together, as well as projecting their own life . And that’s what happens when we watch a movie or a series. “It’s like a dream they dream for us. We live through these situations of art and entertainment. We experience what we don’t experience in real life”, explains Santi. According to him, when the viewer “marathon” a series and doesn’t see time pass, he loses distance, experiences that as if it were himself and what happens calls “catharsis.” “It’s an intense discharge of emotion, as the Greek theater already sought. And any work, today, will only be successful if it is capable of that: the spectator being able to identify and experience emotions mediated by a work of art, without guilt and responsibility, because he is not really involved.” In this way, according to the psychoanalyst, the situations posed in reality shows, with charismatic people and influencers, allow the spectator to project his own fantasies that he cannot fulfill and live through them Samuel L. Jackson in a scene from ‘The Hateful Eight’, by Quentin Tarantino For him, it’s important that we have these symbolic means to experience those emotions that can’t be experienced in real life. “I can watch a fight movie without hitting anyone and without being beaten. Seeing a Quentin Tarantino movie, taking out all my anger symbolically, and being a cool guy outside the theater. Or stop crying in a romantic movie, thinking about my sorrows through that movie, without being exposed.” “We are frustrated by the world, this frustration generates aggression, we don’t have many ways to burn this aggression. It’s good that we have symbolic means to do that.” “But it’s important that the range of emotions is wide. If there is only violence programming, for example, it will not be the means of venting, it will be the means of a model. It is important that there be a violence program, as well as a marriage program, as an intellectual, the travel program…” Identification According to Professor Maria Virgínia, from UFPR, it is essential to remember that human beings are always in search of identification, whether with situations, people or characteristics. And there are several reasons that can lead to this process. “It can be an immediate friendship, because the other person has everything to do with me – not just in the sense of looking in the mirror -, but also because of characteristics that I don’t have it, but I would like to have it, or a characteristic that I abhor, but in a way I’m curious”, he says. The difference between following a character in a soap opera, series or film, and following a reality show character is precisely because identification with the latter is easier. The idols of 10, 20 years ago were idealized. They were the most beautiful people, the heroes were strong and survivors”, says Santi, from ESPM. “Now, our idols need to be more like us. Influencers are not heroes, and women can be wonderful, but they’re going to be at home, they’re going to have problems with their kids when it’s time to go to school. They are everyday people”, says the psychoanalyst. “These reference people cannot be too high to the point where I cannot see myself in them. There was a kind of humanization of our idols.” In addition to identifying with the characters, the professor of sociology at the Getulio Vargas Foundation, Silvia Viana, includes another type of identification that is common in all reality shows: the situations in which people are “The reality show produces a way of functioning in our world”, he says. “It is successful because it reproduces the world as it is and naturalizes it. The relationship that lives under pressure, an ordeal, everything that implies competition between subjects, elimination, are reproductions of our structure”, says Silvia. By reproducing this structure and illustrating these conflicts, there is still interest on the part of the public in looking for “By identification, watching the programs is also looking for these solutions to conflicts that have characteristics similar to the conflicts I experience. Things that I don’t experience in my relationship and appear there, can open perspectives for me, for example”, says teacher Maria Virgínia. “Generally, [o programa] there is a couple and one of the people is interested in the other, so there is the question of betrayal, of insecurity. You can work with that in some way, projecting yourself into what you’re seeing on screen without having to destroy your real relationship.”

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