Admit it: you don’t like panettone – 12/15/2023 – Cozinha Bruta

You don’t have to pretend you like panettone. Alright no problem.

What’s more, that thing you buy – stuffed with brigadeiro, truffle or chicken with catupiry – shouldn’t even be called panettone.

If it encourages you to come out of the closet, I’ll take the first step. I don’t like panettone. There, i said it. Want to know my story? No? You’ll know anyway.

My maternal grandmother lived in Ipiranga. At the end of her street, there was the Visconti panettone factory – at the time, a rival to the Bauducco brand, which would buy it years later.

Every Saturday there was a visit to grandma’s house. The sweet smell filled the air of the neighborhood. When I was 5 or 6 years old, I loved that smell that came through the window of my father’s white Opal.

So the family would stop at the factory store and buy some panettone. At home, the mother would set the table, make a coffee and open the panettone on the kitchen table.

I remember the disappointment when I opened my mouth to that. Wait, is it bread? Isn’t it cake? It’s dry, right? Acidic medium. And those rubbery berries in the middle? That wasn’t even close to the divine aroma that saturated the atmosphere of Ipiranga.

I think my generation was the first to reject the traditional panettone, with raisins and candied fruits, the only one available when I was a child.

I lie: I researched here and discovered that in 1978, so when I was 8 years old, Bauducco launched chocotone. Wow, chocolate instead of nasty berries! There was never one at home, the old people were 100% tradition in this regard.

The emergence of chocotone signals that Bauducco perfectly understood the transformation of consumption patterns in Brazil.

Panettone, much loved by a restricted portion of the population (Italian-Brazilians and their families), was not popular among younger people. It was an afternoon snack for old people.

We know the result of these metamorphoses of taste. They gave us açaí with a thousand syrups and complements, the volcano cake, overdoses of Nutella with nest milk.

It’s not even possible to hang it on the Americans’ invoices. We are narrow-minded in our own way and proud of it – no other society would be capable of perpetrating the Osasco dogão.

As a friend said, it’s munchies activism. We have institutionalized food atrocities committed by the compulsion of marijuana addicts.

To satisfy so much munchies, chocolate was no longer enough. Too sober, not enough sweet. On the other hand, panettone made a lot of money at Christmas. It wasn’t a case of exchanging it for something else.

And so they created the truffled panettone, the churro-flavored panettone, the pistachio panettone, the carrot cake panettone, the coxinhatone, the acarejetone and the tuna and salmon sushitone – the tosqueira that won the audience in the 2023 Christmas season.

In short, panettone for those who don’t like panettone, like you and me.

Strictly speaking, none of them are panettone. But that is how everyone is called and will continue to be.

After all, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas without a handful of good lies.

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