How to balance raising children and traveling for work – 10/22/2023 – Balance
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The moment my husband walks in the door after traveling for work—something he does for about a third of the year—is pandemonium. Our two kids jump on it. Our dog loses his mind. And I feel a mixture of love, relief and resentment.
Our arrangement often feels disorganized. When my husband is away, my two children and I are an efficient unit. Then comes “Daddy,” with his bear hugs and spicy tacos — and the need to be reminded when, from which extracurricular activity, and which child to pick up.
I asked experts for strategies to help couples navigate the complexities of solo parenting.
FOCUS ON TEAMWORK, EVEN FROM A FAR
Eve Rodsky, author of the book “Fair Play”, about the division of domestic labor, says that it is important for couples to agree that the partner who stays at home is not solely responsible for the children. That means the traveling partner must stay involved, Rodsky says, and not just via video calls.
Find ways to help from a distance, she says. Perhaps the traveling parent can shop online or manage an extracurricular activity or two. This could mean he will coordinate weekly carpools.
TREAT ARRIVALS AND DEPARTURES WITH CARE
Military spouses have extensive experience with solo parenting, says Stephanie Allen, director of marketing and communications for the Military Spouse Advocacy Network, whose husband serves in the Navy. She notes that “homecoming guidelines” for military spouses tend to emphasize the importance of a clear conversation about expectations. Before the partner returns from a mission, they will discuss things like what the routine has been and whether there are any new rules or conventions in place.
Immerse yourself in the “DAILY ROUTINE”
It can be a helpful strategy for the returning caregiver to focus on “routine daily” tasks, Rodsky says, for families looking to mitigate initial turmoil. That means housework, grocery shopping, and meal preparation—obligations that are eternal and largely immutable. What matters is that each partner takes full responsibility for their tasks, from conception to execution.
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