How postpartum depression affects men and how to ask for help – 07/12/2023 – Equilibrium

Many people think that postpartum depression is a condition that only affects women. But it also affects men – and some research estimates that it affects 10% of fathers.

However, although it is frequent, there is not much information available on the subject. This can make it difficult to know if you have postpartum depression and how to get help.

Here’s what you need to know about this topic.

Why does it happen

There are many reasons why postpartum depression occurs. And contrary to popular belief, it’s not just due to hormones. Even in women, hormones play only a small role in postpartum depression.

It is usually due to a combination of risk factors, such as a previous history of depression, sleep problems after the baby is born, lack of social support, or financial problems. And it can happen at any age.

The symptoms of postpartum depression are quite similar to those of depression. They can range from low mood, lack of motivation, lack of sleep, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, poor concentration, changes in appetite or weight, to fatigue, exhaustion and thoughts of death or suicide.

The main difference between typical depression and postpartum depression is that while the former can occur at any time, the latter usually occurs after the baby is born.

It’s normal that we have a little trouble dealing with our mental health after a baby is born. After all, it can be an exciting time, but also an overwhelming one, with changes in almost every aspect of life: from your daily routine, your relationship with your partner, to the amount of hours you sleep each night.

But if you’ve been in a low mood and lacking motivation for more than a few weeks, or if feelings arise that make it difficult for you to interact with your newborn baby, consider talking to your doctor or mental health professional.

It’s important to note that postpartum depression can occur any time after the baby arrives – like the first year or two after birth, not just the first few months.

Help

Postpartum depression may not go away on its own. So if you suspect you may be struggling with postpartum depression, it’s important to seek support, not only for your well-being, but also because it could affect your bond with your baby.

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with needing help and seeking support, whether that be from loved ones, friends or a doctor. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s not something that makes you weak, nor does postpartum depression make you a “failure.”

It may be difficult for you to know how to take the first step towards gaining support, so a good starting point may be to simply acknowledge that it is difficult to talk about it.

As simple as it sounds, this can help you feel less uncomfortable sharing your experiences when talking to someone.

It’s worth remembering that when talking to someone, it’s important to say how you really feel, not what you feel you should say.

Another feeling that can appear –and it’s normal– is to feel angry for being like this. Many men who struggle with their mental health are angry because they feel that way, or they worry that they have let their loved ones down, or they fear the system won’t listen to them. To deal with this anger, be patient. Try to let it pass; this can help you feel more comfortable talking about your other emotions.

Also check in which environment it is easier for you to talk about your experiences. For example, some people may find it easier to talk to their GP or in chat groups, but others may find it more comfortable to do this in more informal settings, such as with a group of friends watching a game.

You can start the conversation with something simple – like asking how everyone is doing – before sharing your own feelings and experiences. Or, if your friends are also parents, you could ask if any of them had feelings similar to yours during the postnatal period.

If you are one of those who find it difficult to talk to your loved ones, then consider using a mental health app. Some people find it easier to use this to ask questions, find solutions, and talk about how they feel. There are some apps that have features that can help you navigate parenthood.

Postpartum depression in parents is real and it matters. Fortunately, compared to just a few years ago, there is more awareness and help available than ever before.

*This story originally appeared on The Conversation website and is published here under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article, in English, here.

This text was published here

Andrew Mayers is a Senior Research Fellow in Psychology at the University of Bournemouth (UK).