Depression: why tidying up the house can seem impossible – 01/18/2023 – Equilibrium

A camera pans into Abegael Milot’s room. The floor is practically invisible, hidden by mounds of clothing. Four large plastic baskets are stacked on top of each other, some filled with clothing, some with electronic equipment. There are eight abandoned coffee cups on the desk and bedside table. On the floor are two half-empty water bottles, a tequila bottle with a glass cactus inside, and a pet bowl.

“Today we’re going to clean my room of depression,” the 24-year-old YouTube star, who posts videos as Abbe Lucia, says to the camera. “I’m afraid the only way I can get this room cleaned up is by filming.”

The term “depression room” is a relatively new one, popularized by videos on TikTok and YouTube that have amassed hundreds of millions of views. But experts have long recognized the link between messiness and mental health. The clutter that can arise when people are experiencing a mental health crisis is not a form of accumulation or the result of laziness. The culprit is extreme fatigue, said N. Brad Schmidt, a psychology professor and researcher at Florida State University.

People are “often so exhausted physically and mentally that they don’t have the energy to care for themselves or their surroundings,” Dr. Schmidt said. “They just don’t have the ability to tackle cleaning and house keeping like they probably did before.”

A messy house can also contribute to feelings of burnout, stress, and shame, making you feel worse than before. While organizing doesn’t cure depression, it can improve your mood. If you’re struggling and it seems impossible to keep your place organized, here are some tips on how to clean strategically to optimize your energy and space.

Focus on function, not aesthetics

For KC Davis, a licensed professional counselor and author of “How to Keep House While Drowning” [Como manter a casa enquanto você se afoga], her clutter problem increased when her second child was born in early 2020. “I’ve always been a messy person,” she said, “but it always worked out.” Suddenly faced with a new baby, postpartum depression and the pandemic, Davis realized that if she didn’t adopt a system, she was lost.

As he worked to organize his home, Davis began posting videos of his progress on TikTok, where he now has 1.5 million followers. Put off by much of the self-help, clean-up content that offers what she called “military camp messages,” she opted for a softer, more pragmatic approach. Her systems are realistic about their capabilities and focus on having a livable, not impeccable, space.

One of his most popular strategies is “Five Things Tidy” – the idea that there are only five things in any room: trash, dishes, clothes, things that have a place, and things that don’t. Focusing on one category at a time keeps it from becoming overwhelmed when it feels like there are a hundred different items that need to be put away.

Davis is also a big advocate of what she calls “closing duties”, inspired by her time working as a waitress. She often doesn’t have the energy to clean the entire kitchen every night, so she started doing just a few small chores, “as a kindness for the future, to set me up for success in the morning.”

“I moved away from this idea that it had to be all or nothing and started thinking about function” when it comes to cleaning, she said. “When I think ‘What do I need in the morning?’ suddenly I can be specific.” She makes sure she has clean dishes and enough counter space to cook breakfast, empty the trash, and sweep up the crumbs. “What seems like a huge, never-ending task actually takes just 20 minutes out of my day,” she said.

For people who are really in trouble, Davis emphasized that things can be ugly, but they shouldn’t be unsanitary, because everyone “deserves to be clean and comfortable.” If you don’t have the energy to wash all the dishes, just clean one or two for the next meal, or use paper plates. If laundry involves a lot of steps, don’t worry about folding; Wrinkles never hurt anyone.

Make your home work better for you

People who are neurodivergent, with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, or other executive functioning problems also often struggle with disordered overeating. Like “depression rooms”, the term “piles of destruction” has become popular on social media to describe random things that pile up and you don’t know what to do with them. Almost everyone has a drawer or two of junk at home, but these piles of clutter tend to be more ubiquitous for people who struggle with executive functioning.

Lenore Brooks is an interior designer who specializes in working with neurodivergent people. When her sister, who has ADHD, lived with her for a short time, Brooks found that there were many resources to help children with ADHD or autism get organized, but virtually none aimed at adults.

Much of Brooks’ work revolves around helping his clients deal with the seemingly endless clutter; they feel like they are constantly cleaning but the mess is always there. People with ADHD especially struggle with this because, she said, “It’s almost like decision fatigue all the time. ‘I can’t decide what to do with this, so I’m just not going to do anything.'”

The first step, according to Brooks, is to really pay attention to the items you usually clean. Then find better places for them to stay. “I talk to my clients a lot about systems,” she said. “Finding out why things are where they are, why clutter accumulates in certain places, and then changing the design or organization of how people actually use their home.”

These changes can be simple. For example, if you’re constantly pulling pens off your living room couch cushions and coffee table, consider designating a place to keep the pens in the room where you actually use them. For a client whose home office was always littered with dirty dishes, Brooks provided a tray on which she could gather her tea and snack paraphernalia and return it to the kitchen at the end of the day.

Stop the problem before it starts

Once your space is clean and relatively organized, try to dedicate a few minutes each day to keeping it that way. Davis recommended setting a timer for five or ten minutes and taking care as much as possible during that time. “I tell myself, I don’t need to finish this assignment, but I’m going to get up for eight minutes and do it,” she said. “I’m usually surprised by how much I can do.”

And remember, it’s normal to have some clutter at home. The TV remote, your glasses, the mail you need to sort, an art project you’re working on: “They’re the lifelines in your home,” Brooks said.

Translated by Luiz Roberto M. Gonçalves