Bars and restaurants for stupid people – 09/29/2023 – Cozinha Bruta

We had a beer under the train tracks in Brixton, south London.

It was once a tough region. Gentrified. It’s filled with Londoners from other parts, who arrive to pay cheaper rent, open modern bars and raise the rent.

It’s like an English Barra Funda.

The place where we drank is a brewpub – a bar that produces its own beer – located in an arch of the bridge that supports the railway. Only one guy worked there, probably the owner.

Customers are on the sidewalk. Another table, besides ours, was chatting animatedly. It was the first Saturday of autumn, a sunny and pleasant day. Good beer.

“You see? This kind of thing doesn’t exist in São Paulo”, said Rogério. We were college friends. He is from São Paulo, but even has British citizenship. He has lived here, on and off, for more than 20 years.

Rogério argued that, in São Paulo, places are crowded or unbearably crowded. Everyone wants to be where everyone else is.

The friend’s tremendous bitterness towards his hometown. In neighborhoods like Vila Mariana, Lapa or Perdizes, there are plenty of cool establishments – nothing spectacular, nor is the Brixton brewery – frequented by those who live nearby.

If Rogério was unfair in pointing out São Paulo as the capital of jequice, his complaint applies to human behavior in general. We are hopelessly stupid. Half cattle. We followed the herd without knowing why.

I see a lot of that here in London.

These are the groups that get off chartered double-decker buses to buy ashtrays with Queen Elizabeth’s face on them. The traps packed with tourists in Convent Garden. The masses of cool people who wait hours to eat bread and something at Borough Market.

Everyone acts stupid from time to time, but some exceed their quota.

Like the idiots who pay to eat at a certain Karen’s Diner, a chain of Australian origin, whose waiters are actors trained to treat customers badly – ​​they throw food on the table, change orders on purpose, snort and show the middle finger.

It’s theater, Instagrammable rudeness. Another type of establishment invests in the root, authentic rudeness that comes from father to son.

There are barbecue chefs who think it’s cool to act like a naughty teenager. Old Japanese man throwing a tantrum when they order soy sauce. A place that doesn’t replace ingredients because the chef is in charge here, hell, if you want food your way, you’ll cook it at home.

And there are people who line up to leave money in these places.

Queue is an infallible bait for stupid people. It’s full of restaurant owners who use the line as a seal of approval. Which leads the operation to always have a queue and, thus, increase the queue.

Entrepreneurs know that it makes money to scam and harass these types of customers. It’s no surprise that almost every Brazilian city has a Bar dos Cornos.

I’m seriously thinking about opening a stupid people themed bar, called Cantinho dos Burros. All we need to do is find a fool to invest money in this leaky boat.

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