Violence in schools is also a reflection of who we are – 07/22/2023 – Equilíbrio

We were horrified to learn about episodes of violence in schools, which resulted in the brutal murder of children, adolescents and adults, and the psychological trauma that persists in those who witnessed these events from near or far.

Faced with this horror, we, parents and educators, ask ourselves in a daze what to do to help our children deal with this brutality, in order to personally and collectively work out what is possible, and not lose their enthusiasm and confidence in school, feelings that have been shaken in so many of us.

Part of the way we make sense of these events is to look for explanations that, on the whole, tend to dwell on the mental pathologies of the perpetrators. And this, in fact, is part of the explanation: murderers, as a rule, have traumatic personal histories, resulting from violence suffered in childhood and youth, such as mistreatment and humiliation at home, at school, on the street.

However, any reflection that we manage to carry out on these personal stories already forces us to broaden our focus of understanding the causes and meanings of violence, which start from the psychology of the perpetrators and go towards the realization of how acts of physical, psychological and moral violence are part of the daily life of educational institutions. They manifest themselves in diverse practices of aggression, disrespect and humiliation, and occur more frequently when the victims are or appear to be more vulnerable due to any differences that may appear. Race, gender, sexual orientation, social class, physical or psychological disabilities are some of them.

Children and adults in the school environment can be stigmatized and discriminated against for minimal differences in relation to socially valued standards. We all have or have had these experiences: there is violence inside and outside the classroom, in sports and recreational activities – for example, when games lose their potential for pleasure, cooperation and socialization to become frantic and desperate competitions for overcoming and reaching the best performances.

The school today, like a company, has been taken over by a competitive and evaluative logic, reproducing within itself the hegemonic modes of market and work relations. The school “prepares” students for the world of competition, continuous (self)evaluation, the demand to incessantly exceed goals, to the point of exhaustion. And not realizing or getting sick can be the target of intolerance and shame.

Everything happens just like in games, where the winners are promised wealth and success, and the losers are left with humiliation, exclusion, even extermination. This is everywhere today, as an ideology that tends to be totalitarian in our lives. It is also inside our homes, in the expectations and anxieties that we experience in relation to ourselves and our children since birth.

Weakening or getting sick has become synonymous with intolerance and shame. It is necessary to rethink this way of life, due to the damage it has caused to our bodies, minds and our relationships in all social spaces, even if we tend to be convinced that there is no alternative, there is no other way of living.

But the conversation at home and at school based on the violence that occurred and its impact on all of us, children and adults, may already be part of another way of living. Thus, we open a gap, a space and a time for the other to feel free to speak in their own way, what they feel and think, their fantasies, fears and anxieties. Without judging, just listening, welcoming and thinking together, we can be transformers in profound, surprising and unusual ways. Maybe this way we can also realize our own violence.