On the dating app, incompatibility due to couscous – 02/23/2024 – Cozinha Bruta

I matched with a beautiful and cool girl on one of those dating apps.

We’ve been talking online since before Carnival, but we haven’t seen each other in person yet. This week, as we chatted on Instagram, she sent me the following bombshell:

– I need to tell you something that I feel will disappoint you.

Panic. I look at the keyboard. I can only type four letters:

– Wow.

What could it be?

Are you married? And do you want a three-way date with your husband? Is she Hare Krishna? Do you suffer from chronic halitosis? Or are you just in this for an academic project – and want to interview me for your doctoral thesis?

Deep breath. Four more letters:

– Say.

She spends a few seconds typing. It seems like an eternity. Anyway:

– I don’t eat red meat.

I was relieved and a little bit bitten by the joke. Or maybe it wasn’t 100% a joke. Maybe she was actually worried that this would frustrate me.

Dating apps are like a deck of cards that you pick up or discard. The letters contain photos and a brief form with the person’s physical characteristics and preferences.

At the beginning you stop to evaluate the pros and cons. Soon you’re playing one way or the other in a matter of seconds. Cruel, but it’s the dynamics of social networks.

To speed up screening, everyone on these apps has a mental list of automatic incompatibilities.

There are those who do not admit smokers or short men. You can choose by political position, religion, profession, desire to have children and zip code.

On my list of “no’s” are photos in front of a graffiti wall with wings that make the person look like an angel or a butterfly. No way. But each one with their own quirks. Leave me with mine.

The incompatibility can also be gastronomic, why not?

I would never dismiss someone for not eating meat, but veganism brings real obstacles to coexistence with those who don’t follow the movement. Rejection comes both ways.

One of these apps, Bumble, asks a question about the person’s favorite dish.

Some answers have already made me swipe left. Salmon temaki. Açaí boat. Chicken pizza with cream cheese. Imagine having a DR every Sunday night because of an order at the pizzeria.

I came across the profile of a sweetheart who hurled insults at the already much-vilified São Paulo couscous. What is the need for this, people?

Dating apps throw information in your face about the other person that, in the analog dynamics of relationships, it would take you months to discover. When it was too late to turn back.

He met, dated, dated and, one fine day, he found out that his loved one had a private table at Coco Bambu at Anália Franco. Are you going to stop liking it? That makes it difficult.

As for my date who doesn’t eat red meat, she later told me that she makes exceptions for sausage, hot dogs and bacon. Can one of these?

We made our first date at a Bacontarian restaurant. Wish us luck.

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