Networks generate fear of dealing with complexity in relationships – 06/29/2023 – Tech

The first contact I had with the issue was a few years ago, when Facebook was still the reference for the so-called social network.

I represented a client in a lawsuit and I enlisted a person who was part of her social network as a witness. The opposing party’s lawyer contradicted the witness out of suspicion, claiming that he could distort the facts for the benefit of the virtual friend.

The judge denied the counterclaim, understanding that simple virtual friendship did not make the witness suspect, since it did not necessarily involve an affective relationship. Since then, this subject has intrigued me, not because of the legal aspect (which today already has a consolidated trend), but as a prey of social networks. What does it mean today to have friends?

The internet has not only reshaped interpersonal relationships, but also the way we relate to ourselves. Condemned to stay connected, we lose the right to solitude.

We unlearn to be alone, but we never feel so alone. If we are out of touch with ourselves, how can we relate to others? This is the paradox: since we surrendered to networks, we are neither alone nor together.

The internet fills our time and at the same time empties us; it is the escape and the encounter, the hiding place and the showcase. We give likes, but we don’t train liking; we like it, but we don’t appreciate it.

Mobile devices steal our social mobility: we are lazy with people and people. We connect through the waves: our relationships are like that, in wi-fi mode, without wires or ties. In the world of networks, where appearing is more important than being, we are the filter itself: we are what we would like to appear.

Technology is fascinating. However, when it touches on what touches human beings the most —human relationships—, it has a serious side effect: the fear of dealing with the complexity of relationships —and with our complexity. We end up confined in “echo chambers”, the selfie of opinions, close to those who think the same as us.

Custom relationships aren’t real. Friendship only happens if you have eye to eye, if you endure silence, truth, beauty, ugliness. It doesn’t fit in networks. If we don’t learn how to deal with it, we’ll be doomed to live like Schopenhauer’s porcupines, not so close to others so we don’t get hurt by their thorns, not so far away so we don’t die of cold.