How to stop ruminating on your problems – 09/02/2023 – Equilibrium

Maybe you spend hours replaying a tense conversation you had with your boss in your head. Or, months after breaking up with your ex, you can’t stop thinking about where things went wrong with him.

If your thoughts are so excessive or intrusive that you can’t get them out of your head, or if they’re so distracting that you’re neglecting your responsibilities at work or at home, chances are you’re ruminating, says Atlanta psychiatrist Tracey Marks.

Ruminating is not a mental health issue, but it can be a symptom of a larger problem. And, according to Marks, in some cases it can assume such proportions that it requires intervention. Here’s how to tell if your thinking patterns have shifted from normal rethinking to rumination, and how to bring them under control if they have.

Identify if you really have a problem

Thinking and worrying are normal parts of life, says Greg Siegle, a professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and a student of rumination. Everyone is capable of dwelling excessively on some problem. But when your thoughts become so persistent that they sound like a car without brakes, that’s a sign that there’s a problem.

If you find that you don’t want to dwell on an important subject, but you can’t stop, it’s because your thinking has become compulsive and is already considered rumination, points out private clinical psychologist Michael Greenberg, from Los Angeles, who specializes in rumination and obsessive disorder- compulsive disorder, or OCD.

Another potential sign of rumination is if you find yourself dwelling too much on issues for which there is no solution, says Marks. Replaying an uncomfortable conversation that took place at a party in your head can be normal. But if you can’t get it out of your head, to the point that your attention is diverted from the important things you need to do, that’s problematic—especially since your rethinking isn’t going to change anything that happened in the past.

Certain people are more likely to ruminate than others. Women tend to ruminate more than men, points out Marks, and this is also the case for perfectionists or insecure people.

Rumination is also common among people with certain health conditions, says Siegle, such as chronic pain or cancer, or among people who have had a recent cardiac event like a stroke. In those cases, she says, it’s understandable to dwell on how things could be different or whether or not you’re going to be okay.

Rumination also tends to accompany many mental health issues, including OCD, anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. People with depression who ruminate tend to have worse or longer depression, says Siegle.

How to break the cycle of rumination

The experts we spoke to said that if the rumination is mild — that is, if the person feels stuck in a stream of thoughts, but it’s not so distressing or constant as to feel unbearable — certain simple strategies can help. .

Divert your attention to something else

According to Siegle, one of the most effective things to do when your thoughts are getting out of hand is to distract yourself.

In a study published in 2011, for example, researchers found that when college students with social anxiety used word rearrangement exercises to divert their attention to something else shortly after giving a three-minute speech, they were left with a more positive impression of the presentation they had given compared to students who had a guided negative rumination session.

In another study, this one from 2008, 60 university students had to recall moments in their lives when they felt lonely, sad, hurt or rejected. Then they were told to spend eight minutes ruminating, focusing on mindfulness slogans, or distracting themselves with random thoughts and observations. Rumination prolonged negative mood states, while distraction mitigated them. Mindfulness neither eased nor worsened their mood.

“Listening to music and focusing your attention on the melody or lyrics” can also help a person to push their thoughts away, at least temporarily, says Marks. Other useful attention-deflecting tactics include talking to a friend, playing a game, or exercising.

avoid your triggers

If watching a romantic movie evokes intense memories of the death of a family member, or if scrolling through social media provokes an unhealthy fixation with your appearance, avoiding these triggers can stop these types of thoughts, says Jodie Louise Russell, doctoral student at University of Edinburgh which studies the philosophy of rumination in depression and anxiety.

Use the mute, block, “unfollow” or “not interested” functions on social media, or avoid the internet or certain types of platforms altogether if you feel they are doing you more harm than good.

Book a time to worry

When you’re ruminating, it’s possible to get trapped in a vicious circle of negative feedback where you feel bad about ruminating, which can itself lead to more rumination and deeper distress. Periodically setting aside ten to 30 minutes of “specific time to worry or ruminate” can help relieve this pressure. Just giving yourself permission to ruminate can bring some relief, says Siegle.

For Tracy Marks, an activity like writing in her journal can also be cathartic and helps clarify and defuse her emotions.

Immerse yourself in the present

Sometimes people ruminate about things that happened in the past or will happen in the future and for which there is no immediate solution. To break out of this kind of unproductive pattern, says Marks, take a moment to notice everything going on around you.

“What are you seeing in front of you? What is the temperature in the room? Are there any smells in the air? Immerse yourself completely in whatever experience you are having.”

Serious rumination may indicate the need for therapy

The strategies outlined above may be helpful for some people, but people who ruminate and also have certain mental illnesses (such as severe OCD) may need a more organized intervention, say some experts.

If rumination becomes an almost constant state, it would be unrealistic for you to try to distract yourself or stay in the moment all the time, says Greenberg — that would be like constantly trying to kill a fly or hold a balloon underwater.

And diverting your attention to something else can sometimes backfire. For example, if you tell yourself “I shouldn’t think of a pink elephant”, you’ll want to think of a pink elephant. And it won’t get to the root of the problem or identify why you’re ruminating in the first place.

Instead, Greenberg teaches people how to let go of these thoughts, but at the same time recognize that they exist. You need, he says, to “stop trying to understand the problem.” When you tell yourself that you don’t need to solve the problem and believe it’s okay not to try to find a solution, that’s often when your brain can relax. No need to visualize anything, no need to do anything, “just stop worrying.” It may seem like a confusing guideline, but according to Greenberg, it’s something anyone can learn, it just takes a little practice.

Siegle also noted that treating rumination and underlying mental health conditions is often done concurrently. Therapies used for conditions such as OCD, anxiety and certain types of depression — which can include cognitive behavioral therapy, antidepressants, anxiolytics, light therapy or putting your thoughts down on paper — are all helpful in reducing rumination, he said.

Not all rumination is negative

Ultimately, says Siegle, spending time rethinking problems or ideas isn’t always harmful. In some cases, ruminating with a friend can foster a closer bond between you. Or it might encourage you to quit a stressful job or face a negative friend head-on.

“There are potentially a lot of secondary benefits that can come from rumination, depending on how you use it,” he said.

The most important thing when it comes to rumination is how your thinking makes you feel, says Marks. If your thoughts are causing you distress, anger, or anxiety, or if rumination is taking you away from the important things in your life, then it is a problem.

Translated by Clara Allain