Anxiety: see 4 New Year’s resolutions for anxious people – 01/25/2024 – Balance

The start of the new year often brings lofty ambitions. It’s 2024, time to exercise and eat better, says a nagging voice, somewhere in the back of your brain. And learn to knit?

That’s enough to make anyone anxious.

For those who already struggle with anxiety, these heightened expectations can be even more distressing. Especially since research suggests that many of us don’t complete our New Year’s resolutions.

So we asked several psychologists to create resolutions specifically tailored for people with anxious tendencies. And we’ve broken them down into bite-size steps so you can mark your successes along the way.

But don’t feel pressured to follow these tips just because it’s January. “It’s OK to evaluate your life at any time and say, ‘Hey, what can I do differently?'” says Regine Galanti, a psychologist and author in Cedarhurst, New York, who specializes in treating people with anxiety disorders. “It’s about changing our lives so they look the way we want them to.”

1. RESOLVE TO FACE ONE OF YOUR FEARS

Research suggests that directly confronting the things that make us anxious can help break a pattern of fear and avoidance.

You can do this with a therapist — a process clinicians call exposure therapy — or you can do it on your own.

Start by asking yourself, “How is anxiety keeping me from having the life I want?” or “What would my life be like if I were calmer?” says Galanti.

For example, you might answer, “I would travel more often if I were less worried” or “I would talk more if I weren’t so anxious.”

Instead of waiting to feel more relaxed, plan steps you can take now to reach your goal.

Galanti suggested breaking down your fear into several smaller components that are easier to tackle and creating an action plan to help you hold yourself accountable and track your progress.

If you’re afraid of public speaking, for example, you might start by writing down notes for a toast. Then practice out loud. Then try saying it in front of two friends.

You may get to speak in front of a small group. “It’s like climbing a ladder,” says Galanti. “I can’t jump to the top.”

Some people may need to do each step multiple times, she added.

Gradually, each new task will start to seem easier. If you get stuck, “try to avoid holding on to things,” Galanti said. Instead, break this step into smaller parts.

2. RESOLVE TO FOCUS ON YOUR VALUES INSTEAD OF YOUR ANXIETY

It may seem counterintuitive, but telling yourself to be less anxious is “a signal to your brain to focus more on the anxiety,” says Galanti.

Having a little anxiety is part of being human — so it’s pointless trying to completely banish the feeling. “It’s more like, ‘If I feel anxious, then what?'” she added.

So instead of focusing on your anxiety, think about the personal traits you value. Total serenity probably won’t be on the list.

“Does anyone really want their tombstone to say, ‘He was calm’?” said David Tolin, director of the Anxiety Disorders Center at the Life Institute in Hartford, Connecticut.

How do you want to be remembered? As a caring spouse? A loyal friend? A dedicated worker?

Once you identify the traits you value, he said, do something meaningful to embody them. For example, if being generous is important, consider volunteering in your community, even if you’re eager to step out of your comfort zone.

3. RESOLVE TO SEEK A DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE

Imagine a man arguing with his wife. He begins to worry that she no longer loves him and becomes convinced that she secretly wants a divorce.

Catastrophizing —being consumed by the fear that a situation is more risky than it actually is— is associated with anxiety disorders.

Angela Neal-Barnett, a professor of psychological sciences at Kent State University, suggested thinking about what you’ve worried about over the past year. It is likely that the worst-case scenario did not happen. Maybe the amount of worry you put into a specific problem wasn’t worth it. Or maybe you surprised yourself by successfully navigating a difficult situation. What was the most important thing you learned?

Write down your observations so you can refer to them if excessive worry or fear arises again.

Another strategy is to approach a trusted, less anxious friend and ask what they would do.

4. RESOLVE TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

That doesn’t necessarily mean luxuries like massages or a personal trainer, experts said, but the basics: Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating nutritious food? Are you moving?

Neal-Barnett recommends filling in the blank: “When I’m anxious or scared, my go-to self-care routine is…” The list could include relaxing things like calling a friend, practicing deep breathing, or going for a walk outside. and get some fresh air.

“Anxious people have a really hard time resting,” says Neal-Barnett, but it’s “one of the best things you can do.”