The 7 stolen capitals of Brazilian bars – 05/24/2023 – Cozinha Bruta
The list follows, in the following order: from pé-sujo to speakeasy.
1. Beer tower
One of the silliest ideas in modern history, the beer tower is a design marvel. It combines horrendous aesthetics with utter failure of functionality.
Basically, the guy at the bar pours a bunch of draft beer into a container the size of the Pacaembu swimming pool. In this process, the drink already loses half of the gas. And then it’s warming up in the center of the table.
2. Potato chips full of junk
Fried potatoes are one of the great wonders of cooking. Perhaps the best of all vegan foods.
Like all fried food, it needs to be crispy to be good.
Here comes some genius and throws a mixer of creamy cheddar or cottage cheese on top of the potato. The result is mushy, dead, and nauseating.
3. Beer without a condom
For those unfamiliar with bar slang: a condom is a thermal cover, generally made of hard plastic, made to keep the ice of a 600 milliliter beer.
Every traditional “bar and snacks” of manual workers offers such a condom. But there are some establishments that serve large beer without it. They are, in general, bars that simulate authentic pubs, with a clumsiness completely calculated in the business plan.
Petty economy or concept? Is it ugly because it bears a brand? Frankly, give the H31n3k3n fridge back then.
4. Beach chairs
I have already expressed my dislike of them in this other text.
5. Not having free food
Let’s learn from the Spaniards and the Italians. The former offer tapas, small appetizers that arrive free of charge with each ordered drink. The Italian aperitivo can be the same as the Spanish tapa, but sometimes it’s a buffet that even has lasagna at will. It attracts a wonderful customer.
Of course, “free” shouldn’t be taken too seriously, as the merchant obviously makes his spreadsheets and builds that cost into things the customer will pay. It’s nice though.
Here, you can barely see the peanuts or chips that Americans leave on the counter to salt the customer’s mouth and induce him to drink more.
6. Secret Bars
So, your bar has an attic or basement that is being used as a repository for broken things. You have a click: a quick renovation, and the place can increase the revenue of the main hall by 35%.
We’re not just going to widen the bar. Let’s create a new brand. Velvet curtains, shady surroundings, 1920s cocktails, 2040s prices.
Ah, it’s a secret bar. We will spread the news to all the press and influencers.
This speakeasy cascade even stuck 10 or 15 years ago. It’s over. Stop Please.
7. Drinks more expensive than a plate of food
It seems like I was hibernating at home for two years and woke up to a reality in which cocktails have become art, luxury and glamour. Since when is it normal to charge exorbitantly for a drink?
It became the norm for cocktails to cost more than food. I’m not talking about snacks or PFs from a bar, but main dishes from the same bar that sells the drink.
A place in São Paulo sells the boulevardier for R$54 and spaghetti with alheira for R$52. Sazerac for R$72 and duck rice for the same price.
Thus, it is a fact that the bartender’s work must be valued and that the inputs are expensive, but the thing goes beyond the limit of reason.
Bars are informal hangouts, not tasting rooms and praise to the cocktail gods. The function of the drink is to relax, not to cause nightmares with the credit card bill.
If this trend continues, the cocktail industry will fall into the same trap that craft wine and beer have: taking itself too seriously.
PRESENT LINK: Did you like this text? Subscriber can release five free hits of any link per day. Just click the blue F below.